Hi,
I am a newcomer to muzzleloaders and can relate to your anxiety. I have a 30-06 and an 8mm rifle, both sporters which I shoot a bit and a 12 gauge shotgun. I am also not fond of recoil.
I have a Knight muzzleloader which shoots a 320 gr cast flat nosed bullet (cast by my friend and business partner) with 80 gr of 2F black powder very comfortably for me. The recoil is very pleasant and it is fun to shoot. I guess there are much more powerful guns around. I am never going to be able to hunt anything that needs a cannon myself, so I'm happy with what I have. Like you, I'm here to learn more.
Good luck!