Wow, that is dirty.
I was using upto two times the bullet weight and 50% more powder in my 54cal and the bolt/primer adapter is almost spotless. The outside of my breach plug is far cleaner too. I even fired more than double the number of shots.
Ive heard the 45cal are built with a bit more tolerance so that may be part of the reason. I didnt try Federal primers but i did try the CCI209M and its nearly identical to the Feds.
IMO head spacing is going to be tough to adjust for in so many versions of the Extremes and Elites. You cant take a bolt from two identical centerfire guns and achieve the correct head space usually. The same issue is going to effect this conversion or any NFPJ conversion.
A shim kit used inside the primer pocket might be the only semi permanent solution for a tight primer seal. Different versions may also be needed for the 45 and use a smaller pocket on the vent liner side. Having a 50cal liner pocket in a 45cal bore could be causing it also.
If you get another chance, can you try some Win209 primers? They are one of the longest primers and worked fairly well in mine. Or Cheddites, they have a slightly larger OD.
The more feed back we get, the easier it will be for Dave to come up with a solution.
Im very sorry you didnt have the luck i did.