The final award is the "Behemoth Boar," awarded to the biggest, longest, grossest, fattest pig this side of Rosie O'Donnell. Last year, Blue Dot bagged this coveted trophy with a unique transexual pig of some sort-- obviously no effort was spared. Mercifully, this year's most prominent porker was of a more conventional gender.
The first day this year was less than a spectacular harvest, with many hunters seeing no pigs and some hunter's knees trembling and otherwise begging for mercy. The next day, many hunters tried, and many pigs donated their lives to ballistic science yet no true behemoth was quickly bagged.
Out of the misty mist and the dusky dusk came the fearless Savage girl, Kristel, with the fearless luminol-bearing pharmacological pig-slayer by her side. Suddenly, a shot range out-- there must have been an echo in the Crossville timber that morning, 'cause I thought I heard another. Who knows?
But, yes, yes, yes-- the Behemoth was finally spotted (
actually, mostly solid in color) by our sultry Savage princess, and became diseased shortly thereafter.
There we have the happy duo of Kristel and the Behemoth Boar while perhaps not quite so happy, is resting comfortably. Looks like Kristel has nicer teeth than the recently popped pig? Unknown-- I never really did have a chance to measure her tusks.
The Behemoth started day the without delay, but Savage girl made him her prey. Looks like one less plate for dinner in boarland, and several extra pig platters for Kristel.
Since Kristel has been recently adding to her gold rings n' things collection, the Golden Pig award fits right in with her new color scheme. The reputed last words of the pig were:
I began to scratch the gravel, on my all fours I did travel,
I rambled down the road the best I could.
When I awoke next morning, just as the day was dawning,
I was just a hog away out in the Crossville woods.
My brother hogs began to grumble, I started and I stumbled,
I fell right in their midst and there I lay.
Then one by one they started, all the herd departed,
Every other hog walked away-- but not me, for 'twas Kristel who did slay.
Heart-warming, isn't it?
So alas and alack, it was Kristel Attack . . .
Thanks to Kristel, it is no more eating babies.
From now on, the Behemoth will just be pushing up daisies. :shock:
Congratulations to Savage Girl for her trophy-winning Behemoth Boar Blast!
:wink: Ahem.
